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March 1, 2008

Narrow Escape

WARF, son of Mogh, has again evaded death at the hands of Romulans: this episode, one posing as a USPTO patent examiner. 7,029,913, claiming in vitro culturing of Klingon stem cells, passed reexamination.

Self-appointed busybodies, the Public Patent Foundation and Foundation for Taxpayer and Consumer Rights, had arranged an ambush of '913. Wounded in a non-final office action, '913 was amended to slightly narrower claims, and recovered. WARF attributed this victory to his skill with the bat'leth, the Klingon longsword.

Legend tells of the first bat'leth, forged around 625 AD, by Kahless, who dropped a lock of his hair into the lava of the Kri'stak volcano. Kahless then plunged the fiery lock into lake Lursor, twisting it to form a blade. After forging the bat'leth, Kahless used it to defeat the tyrant Molor, and by doing so, united the Klingon homeworld. Bat'leth is Klingon for "sword of honor."

WARF has two other stem cell patents: 5,843,780 & 6,200,806, which are still pending reexam. These two patents apply to puny humans and other Earth life forms.

The busybodies, sworn enemies of WARF's patents, scheme and skulk, swearing appeal. WARF considers such skullduggery beneath contempt: "they will die without honor."

Posted by Patent Hawk at March 1, 2008 8:59 PM | Prosecution

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